I don't need people, just a person. Someone who'll listen when nobody else is, someone who won't ever leave you just because there's something about you they don't like.

It seems as though everybody else has that "someone", a mom, a sister, a best friend, a boyfriend they can say everything to without any worries. It never feels right to have someone listen to me when they have more important people to listen to. And all of them have more important people.

The very fact that my only form of release, this blog, has to be controlled just to be careful not to not to express myself too much in case people see it and get upset. Or when you're sad or insecure or depressed you're not supposed to show it just because nobody wants to be friends with someone insecure, sad and depressed. Or how I'll feel guilty and ashamed for ranting to someone, for the fear that it'll be annoying, whiny, irritating.



Like how I'm reading whatever I wrote. Why do I even write here? When I actually don't want people to read? When I'm so afraid of them judging me after they read this? Judge me for whining complaining or being a hopeless brat. Why do I not want to privitise this then? Because it's like throwing the responsibility of hearing you out to a person who probably does not even want to listen to you.

Someone just read my mind already I'm tired of writing.

I can't wait to press the RESTART button on my life.
I want to bloody move on, away from this damned reality.

I went home after the last day of exams while the rest were having fun with each other. Don't I miss my old life too much?

Think I'm going to make this a draft out of guilt again. bye.